Here are a few things about me that would be better left unspoken – but since I am crossing a time of rebellion I’d like to share them with you.
I don’t like all children.
And I don’t find all babies beautiful. Actually, very few children are pretty in their first months. Then, after 18 months, they start developing a personality, become humans and this is when I start to make my selection. Don’t get me wrong, I behave myself, mostly because sometimes it happened with children of very close friends. But I have favourites. It’s wrong. But I can’t help it.
I don’t like dogs.
Really, not much of an animal lover here. I can’t really see animals past their utility: on a plate, mostly. Still, I can see that pets are funny and they give you a good mood and are good for children to learn about responsability. Dogs are very useful in many ways for the police or blind people. All over the planet animals are part of the echosystem, they are beautiful and wild, and I hate people who abuse and treat them with disrespect - but I don’t love them! I had pets of my own that I cared for but I never cried when they died. And unfortunately, since in this country we are forced to live among many, many stray dogs everywhere and there’s nothing we can do but be careful not to be attacked by some 15-dogs pack out of the blue; and most of all because all the voices that are defending their “right” to be on the street, well… let’s just say I ended up not liking them very much. It’s sad. But I can’t help it.
I don’t love my country.
I live here, I pay my taxes (and don’t get much in return) and what I feel about it is a kind of sorrow like of having an abusive parent. I loved it, I fought for it, I cried for it and hoped and tried till someday I stopped loving it. I feel sorry – I feel failure. But I am planning to leave forever and I will be that kind of immigrant that never visits his country. I will never hide or deny my origins, that would be stupid, I just haven’t felt, already for a long time, that I belong here - but more likely felt like a misfit. It’s frustrating. But I can’t help it.
I don’t like all my friends.
I know this sounds really weird, but let me explain: I have friends since primary school and this is over 25 years ago. We grew up together, cried, got drunk, fought and made up, we are like family and we have so much background together, I couldn’ live without them; but you see, we developed differently, we are different persons now – allthough I love them, I don’t allways like them. It’s weird. But I can’t help it.
So, would you like to share your own B-sides? Let’s hear it!
When I read the title, I didn’t know what to expect:-)) But now I can’t help it but to identify with your “ugliness”
) so you have to be good at faking it, I guess.
The most delicate one is with not so cute newborns; you don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings and make them lose their milk
hmm..let me think about it, because you pretty much made a sum of most of my dislikes. The only reason I’d visit Romania now, would be to see you. I moved out of the country because of the dogs and shitty music and shitty neighbours and shitty system and shitty everything. So I will not discuss this further.
Although I have very strong convictions (now) about stealing and abusing someone else’s property, when I was little I used to punish the bread vendors for being rednecks, by stealing bread. I never used those money to buy candies, but I just couldn’t help it. I felt they needed to be somehow punished for their behaviour.
Although I would never willingly hurt another person, there are some people I would really like to see dead. I’m too coward or not insane enough to do it, but I can’t help day-dreaming about it. I really really really hate some people.
The people I love can do anything to me, I can’t stop loving them. No matter how low they get, no matter how ugly they become. Sometimes I have no pride, no brain and certainly no spine. But I can’t help it. All I can do, is to keep my distance, not to get too hurt.
Sometimes I am superficial. So superficial that nothing really gets to me. The world just collapsed? Well.. that sux, but what can I do?
There are some other dirty secrets about me, but I’m not gonna tell you everything now.. that sux, isn’t it?
)
@ Anonymous: of course, mothers see their children like the most beautiful beings in the universe and you can’t contradict them. Mothers are lions. You don’t upset lions.
@ Blomamaind: I feel you! Really.
I got two things to say: about the country, i feel pretty much the same. But i would surely be an immigrant that do visit his country.
And the 2nd: i hope you like me, as your friend
@mihacos – you know I love you!
I fully agree with you on the babies! I find most newborns a little ugly? (uratei). I know they’re small and vulnerable and that makes them cute, yet they are ugly too (I’ve only seen 2 newborns which weren’t ugly).
Hell, I was afraid I might not like my daughter! turns out I do, although sometimes I don’t like her that much.
You can like someone and not love that person. Or love someone and not like. I love my daughter all the time, even when I don’t like her. Ilove my husband, even when he annoys me.
I think it’s normal (for our sanity) that we don’t always feel the same towards same people.